Chronic Conversations

**Before you read the below**

As a “new” writer, I’ve learned that my work needs time to sit, breathe, and be polished. Then repeat. I’m still trying to figure out when something is actually done. The memoir essay I wrote below was rejected from a publication a few months back with no real explanation why… so I guess this may not be “done” yet. Even so, I’ve still been feeling a pull to put it out there, so I thought, why not put it on my Substack? So, here you go! The first ever public taste of some of my memoir writing.

Chronic Conversations

Thank you for visiting the “Chronic Conversations” archives. Please select an option from the drop-down menu.

Selection: What happens when you tell your boss you have a chronic illness?

Excellent choice. The following has been documented in our records:

“We are just upset because we have to cover all your work while you’re taking time off to ‘figure this out.’” END

Would you like to make another selection?

Selection: What happens when you tell your in-laws you have a chronic illness?

Ah, yes, one of our favorites. The following has been documented in our records:

“Well, are you going to make it to our next get-together? You didn’t come to the last one. We haven’t seen you in so long.” END

Hmm, perhaps another option is what you’re looking for.

Selection: What happens when you tell your parents you have a chronic illness that has no cure?

The following has been documented in our records:

“We can’t wait until you get this resolved.” END

Yeah, get on that. Not what you are looking for? Please make another selection.

Selection: What happens when you tell an acquaintance you have a chronic illness?

The following has been documented in our records:

“At least it isn’t cancer. This is probably the best one you could get.” END

You’re so lucky. You should buy a lottery ticket with those odds. Would you like to make another selection?

Selection: What happens when you tell a close friend you have a chronic illness centered around vomiting?

You can always count on a true friend, can’t you? The following has been documented in our records:

“The other day, I had to puke, and it was awful! I mean, I know you throw up sometimes, but mine was so bad. I can’t believe my fitness instructor was upset that I needed to miss class.” END

Yeah, can you imagine? Is this not what you were looking for? Please choose again.

Selection: What happens when you tell a co-worker you have a chronic illness?

The following has been documented in our records:

“I mean, at least you’ll get skinny. That’ll be nice.” END

A vomit a day keeps the scale numbers at bay… or something like that. Would you like to make another selection?

Selection: What happens when you tell a family member you have a chronic illness related to anxiety?

The following has been documented in our records:

“Well, I guess you need to keep your stress down. And this is what I do…” END

Duh. Why didn’t you think of that? Are you looking for another option?

Selection: What happens when you tell your doctor you need help with your chronic illness?

The following award-winning guidance has been documented in our records:

“I can’t justify that. You aren’t that sick... You just need to deal with it.” END

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